Puppy Tales

I've learned a few things from my dog Alexus

1.For the longest time she wouldn't come down the stairs to my room. No matter how lonely she was upstairs she would just stand at the landing and look all puppy sad while I descended into the abyss of the basement. When everyone would leave in the morning she would have a time barking up a storm. I of course, asleep snugly in my bed could hear her down stares. And then one day the barking was gone. I woke up late because of that! Then stepping out of the shower I found her at my feet, waiting for the wet dripping Crystal to come out of the shower! It was wicked cool. And I thought wow, how often do I let my fears take a hold of me? How long have I been staring down the corridor at what I wanted only to be to frightened of the darkness and the steepness to descend into personal satisfaction. Fear. What a myth.

2.Thursday morning I took Alexus in to the vet to be spayed. When I went to go pick her up the doctor gave strict orders about keeping her from licking her stitches. Last night Ham wasn't home so Alexus slept with me. She woke up about 3 times to attack her stitches. Silly puppy. I had to guard her belly while she fidgeted and sought after the wound. All the while I'm thinking "quite licking your stitches! The damage is done, now it has to heal." At some point during the long night I even told her that, hoping that she would find some ease or compassion in my voice. AH! But what have I been doing since I missed my performance in Pittsburgh! I haven't stopped beating myself up. I haven't stopped wishing and going back over what happened and how I ended up at BMA instead of the youth rally. I punked out. I panicked and took my eyes off Christ. And since then I haven't stopped licking my wounds. Goodness... How big is my God? How small are my thoughts...